Keeping it in the family...

This was an actual conversation I had with a local man about his family and his recent marriage. He was trying to communicate who he married in broken English.

“I married the dodder of my sister" (man with very thick accent)

         “You married your sister’s doctor?”-Me

"No, I not marry my sister doctor, my sister dodder" 

         "Do you mean your sister is a doctor?”-Me                                         

“No, no she not a doctor… I married my sister dodder”

         “OH, your sister's DAUGHTER?"-Me

"Yes, yes, yes" He says with a pleased smile.

        "Really? Are you sure?….that can’t be possible.”-Me

We draw a few stick figures of the members of his family for reference and after some definitive circles and arrows I realized that indeed he is telling us that he married his sister’s daughter. He married his niece.

       “REALLY??…Wow…okay...wow…you can’t do that in the US…” -Me ( So much for cultural sensitivity.)

I look at my husband for some sort of suggestion of how to move forward in this conversation and get nothing but a mirror of my own expression. The man's face displayed such a mixture of innocence and pride that this confounded us even more and left us a bit speechless. We eventually prodded him a bit with a few questions and discovered that this marriage was arranged when he was a child. It was the only way for his family to avoid paying for the dowry of his niece as they were too poor to afford it. This was a pragmatic decision that was essentially made for him, but he appears to be completely content with the outcome. This was an eye opening experience that put a whole new spin on the concept of family sacrifice. I left the conversation dumbfounded, but with a new found gratitude...happy that I got to choose my mate and I didn't have to search through the family tree in the process.